3 Months

It's a Friday afternoon. My Fitbit just vibrated letting me know it's 3:00pm. I'm at home. This is how it's been. This is how it's been for WEEKS.

I just got home from Walmart. I waited around for the right time of day, after telling my roommate I've realized Walmart is the emptiest when elementary schools in town are releasing for the day. Fridays are slightly worse than other weekdays, but not like any of their busy times. Over the last month, I've found that this is my favorite time of day because it's not crowded, but I'm also less likely to run into someone I know. Because if I run into someone I know, then they'll ask me where I'm working, and I don't have an answer. If I go to Walmart when schools are getting out, I won't run into old co-workers because they're at work, and I won't run into parents because they are either picking up their kids or waiting for the bus to arrive. It works.

Today was the exception. And it made me feel everything again.

I went to Walmart to pick up a new laminator, because I broke mine on Tuesday laminating vocabulary words for my roommate. I went on Wednesday but they were out of stock so I ordered one online and shipped it to store to arrive today. But I needed Pepto-bismal last night and found it was expired, so I decided to pick up some more, and also more honey, because apparently we were low. It's 2:30pm. I pick up the Pepto and am crossing the store to the grocery section when I realize I am going to have to cross paths with a parent of one of my favorite students from last year. This is what I'm always trying to avoid. What would I say to her? Her son loved me, and she liked me; he learned a lot, and I like to think I made a difference. Even worse is with this particular parent, I also taught her daughter two years ago. I had the biggest connection with this family last year. She has no more children at my old school, and can't possibly know I'm no longer there unless another parent told her. What do I say to her? Why am I not at work during school hours?

~~~

On June 8th last year, the last day of school, I gave my boss my letter of resignation after he told me they weren't renewing my contract and I had decided I was leaving my school after this year in January. It's been 3 months, and I haven't found anything else. I've applied, I've interviewed, attended job fairs, called principals to ask about openings, had Skype interviews, and driven multiple hours to have a thirty-minute interview in person. I've been told a principal sent my information to central office with the recommendation for hire only for the office to put it on pause.

So, yeah, times are tough. And it sucks. I'm paying for rent, utilities, and food from my savings. I'm bored out of my mind during the weekdays. My roommates are exhausted on weekends so I'm still not getting out. I have trouble getting out of bed in the mornings. It sucks.

Good things come to those who wait.

It's taped onto my TV. I'm serious. God's got a plan. I know it. But that doesn't mean that this part doesn't suck. So I'll keep praying, reading the quote on my TV, and listening to my you-can-do-this playlist.


Playlist includes:
Human - Christina Perry
Never Gonna Let You Down - Colbie Caillat
Brand New - Ben Rector (watching the music video right now - it's great!)
Warrior - Demi Lovato
Flashlight - Hailee Steinfield
If We're Honest - Francesca Battistelli
It's a Beautiful Day - Michal Bublé
Unfinished - Mandisa (the only Mandisa song I like, sorry)
Even Then - Micah Tyler
Masterpiece - Danny Gokey
Space Between - Dove Cameron and Sofia Carson (Descendants 2)